The power of friendship
by zman123
Summary: Friendship is magic. Or so says the bright and cheerful cartoon that Barbara Gordon "Batgirl" depends on to cope with the stresses of another hard day in the life of a vigilante where crime never seems to end. Years of seeing no drastic change, finally begin to take their toll on the young heroine as she makes up her mind to follow a crazy idea she knows cannot end well.


**"When you look into an abyss, the abyss looks back at you. And he who fights monsters must be careful lest he become one himself."**

A deep and depressive sigh erupted gently from the young red haired woman's dry lips as she continued to stare out through the window at her city below, fixated by the sight despite how she had lived practically her whole life here and never got the chance to leave even if she badly wanted to.  
The birds weren't singing, the flowers certainly weren't blooming. The bloody red of the early morning sky adding to the already unpleasant sight of the dark and foreboding forest of tall buildings that never seemed to end at least from where she now looked.  
A blood red sky as a canvas over jet black buildings with the occasional tint of white where someone had turned a light on already awake at this early hour. What artist wishing to depict a mixture of loneliness and fear could ask for a better palette or combination of colours.

Cars sped at great speeds on a wide road below her, nothing out of the ordinary for now.  
That didn't make the woman any less suspicious of at least a few of those, particularly a big black pickup truck that seemed to be going way too fast for a road like that.

Unable to force herself to turn away from the window to get a move on with what would likely be another grim and thoroughly miserable day like any other, she continued to stare blankly through the slightly cracked and dirty glass expecting at any moment the sound of explosion followed by a desperate screaming that would make even the worst opera singers sound like heaven in comparison.

It was only when for almost another minute that she heard nothing save the boring but at least bearable noises of cars and the breeze that Barbara Gordon rolled her eyes as she silently chastised herself for already wasting so much time as she sauntered out of her bedroom, closing the rusty wooden door as she went.

Gotham city was not a pleasant sight. Even the most refined painters would agree that even they could not improve the appearance of such a bleak and unholy sight that was this poor excuse for a city in their works despite their best efforts.  
Those lucky enough to simply be passing by, slid their eyes over the city without pause or did their best to look at something else. And Barbara would not have found it hard to agree that Gotham was not a city anyone without some kind of crazy death wish would ever want to even visit, let alone reside in. She would freely even admit that given half a chance, she'd spend half a day trying her best to get as far far away from Gotham as possible even going so far as to forge her travel tickets and passports if that would work.

But alas she would tell her one trusted companion, her only trusted companion, life was never a very good dealer when it came to dealing out the hands of cards for those that were forced to go through it.

"I hate my life and maybe because of that, my life hates me." she thought to herself as she slowly and wearily began to make breakfast for herself consisting of slightly sugared cereals dipped in cold milk.  
The previous microwave had broken down and all the struggles of her busy career left Barbara better known to her friends as Babs, little time for frivolities like shopping for new furniture.

As she tucked hesitantly into the meagre meal that would be her only source of nutrition and energy for the rest the day trying hard to ignore the coldness of the milk, Barbara did her best to momentarily forget the growing sadness that had come over her especially hard this morning of all mornings by remembering the fun cartoon she had seen last evening when for once no emergencies called her attention.

A fun and innocent little cartoon consisting of coloured ponies that could talk who lived in a much happier world where there were no worries. Or at least very few.  
Bruce and Dick, her two associates could say what they would about it being a complete waste of time which could be better spent developing her skills in preparation for future threats she could be called on to deal with or in Dick's case more time hanging out with him so their troubled relationship could begin to mend itself.  
But Barbara didn't care. She didn't spend her time lecturing those two on how they could spend their time breaking from their duties and they had no place telling her how her free time could be spent.

So was there a right and wrong way to spend her free time now?

It was that hour in front of the small and cheap television set that kept Barbara sane.  
Reminded her of what was really important in life and not to be negative or bad tempered like her employer Bruce so often was with her and persuaded her to do what she could to keep the uneasy truce between her and Dick. Because in the cartoon's own words, friendship was magic.  
And certainly not something you could just wish away for no good reason. In fact, Barbara could think of no good reason anyone would want to wish away something as important as friendship since the day she found the one good show worth her time and attention.

But now was not the time for wasting time with needless thoughts, she reminded herself as she hurriedly grabbed the heavy rucksack she had packed yesterday evening.  
A bag so filled with books that it hurt her arm just trying to lift it up and when she put it on every step caused her shoulder great agony.

Yet somehow the red haired woman ignored the pain as she managed to stagger out of her flat, down a creaky flight of stairs and all the way to the bus stop which didn't seem far considering it was only a few steps from the flat.  
But which the load on her back seeming to get heavier and heavier with each second and sweat already drenching her body so that her tight fitting uniform was already soaked to an uncomfortable degree, it seemed like an eternity before she finally managed to haul her way to the side of the road where as gently as she could she threw down her rucksack as she sat on the stony pavement to enjoy a few more seconds of reprieve before another miserable day at the horrible hellhole of an excuse for a so called university. But then at least it was Friday and there was at least two brief weeks of breakup before she would have to do this again.  
These things did little to comfort the redhead however as the filthy bus soon sped to a stop by the side of the road, and Barbara wearily climbed inside the very old vehicle gifting the wrinkled driver whose face had given up trying to look human long ago with a few coins before wordlessly taking the ticket he handed to her with his trembling hand.

She went to sit down on the one empty seat in the bus avoiding eye contact with any of the other uniformed young adults also on board. In the time her elder and employer Bruce had spent training her ,she had picked up enough to tell from hardly more than a glance that each and every one of them was a common thug and bumpkin it would be in her best interest to stay at arm's length from.

Either that or the past relationships she had tried to form with her fellow humans and associates she had deemed to be at least partly trustworthy had left her very wary of even looking at anyone who seemed even the slightest bit out of place.  
She could only hope none of those brutes were planning to turn to the ever tempting life of being a criminal which seemed always to attract so many more than the life of law and order.

And before she knew it, the wretched vehicle had screeched to a halt at last allowing Barbara to hurriedly grab her belongings as she dashed for the dark and foreboding edifice that was her place of education,  
She knew full well the consequences if she didn't arrive within the next three minutes and the fear lent her strength she no longer possessed as she ran and ran holding the her rucksack which felt like a several ton boulder in her arms.

It was a miracle when she managed despite nearly tripping several times to get to sprint through the corridors into her classroom and throw herself into her seat with just seconds to spare before the stern faced and frowning lecturer holding a heavy book and pen came into the room, through a different door as the one Barbara had used.

She could swear she was still panting heavily when she opened her mouth to answer "Yes Miss" when her name was called.

The rest of the day was pretty standard as her days not spent patrolling the city for crime went.  
She opened textbook and flipped to page after page, very nearly too slow several times despite her best efforts. Last night's late night staying up was really beginning to take its toll on the usually very alert and attentive student who cared about her grades almost as much as her secret career which kept her awake far too often for her grades not to at least drop somewhat. Almost as much.

She very nearly strained her wrist several times as she battled to scribble down at least a couple sentences on each of the slides that the teacher displayed on the interactive board one after another far too quickly for her to even begin to vaguely understand what each of them meant.  
And how such a poorly funded place of learning could even afford such high tech boards, Barbara could make no guess at. But either way, that was probably where most of the meagre budget went with how very cold the room she was now sat in was causing her to shudder uncontrollably every few minutes.

How much time had passed since this lesson begun?  
By the time the bell had rung signifying the start of the brief period for luncheon, the look in Barbara's wide open eyes told a tale that she was by then far away in another world. She really needed to stop pulling these late night stunts. But villains loved the night because they felt so much safer and more bold under the cover of darkness and didn't give a damn if that meant self respecting students such as herself were deprived of valuable rest.  
At this rate she would have no life outside of kicking down criminal after criminal and her cheap and rundown flat would be the home she was found dead in.  
The so called Batman might have been a wealthy hero with good intentions, but that didn't mean he just handed his underlings luxuries on a silver platter.  
After all it was he who got the silver platter at dinner meetings with his crew of lackies. Even his faithful butler Alfred had to be content with a cheap plastic one.

She exchanged small talk with her fellow undercover agent Dick. The self proclaimed boy wonder who was more than likely heir apparent to their employer Batman. At least from Dick's point of view anyway.  
Barbara avoided any talk on their relationship and how she had little interest in trying to restore it and instead turned her former boyfriend's mind to other more cheerful things as they talked for the next half an hour about the sweet and the sour and how each of them were doing at least okay if not the best.  
Their smiles trying without success to disguise the sheer amount of embarrassment and regret each felt at how things had gone bad for both of them so quickly in what could well have become a long and lasting engagement where one of them eventually handed the other a silver ring after popping the question.  
They had lived together, went to school together and even fought side by side together saving each other's lives far more times than either of them could remember so that by now it was difficult to tell who owed who their life.  
Yet somehow when Dick and Barbara tried to close the gap between each other even more, it fell apart badly causing both of them unthinkable and unimaginable pain.

"Was it something I said?" Barbara remembered whispering to herself silently that day as the two would be lovers bade each other a curt but still polite farewell to go their separate ways. "Was it something I did?" she swore she heard Dick curse under his breath, and it took all her willpower to resist the urge to run back to him arms outstretched. As pained to admit it as the optimist she was, Barbara knew that now was not the time for them.

And in Batman or Bruce's own words, it would only distract them both from their present duties.  
Duties that were far more pertinent than any superficial attachments that could only serve to tie a hero down and limit their ability to do what they were built to do.  
To maintain order and keep evil at bay.

Yet even as the bell rang for both young heroes to leave off for class, Barbara could not help but question the validity of her employer and mentor's statement that attachments did little more than imprison one.  
That and why even after more years than she could count, the tirade of crime and corruption in this city she was supposed to serve and protect had shown no signs of wavering and instead only seemed to increase as more and more once upright and moral citizens found reasons to defect.

Surely by doing what she had been asked to do by an experienced and wizened teacher such as Batman should have made things better by now.

Barbara was able to better concentrate in the afternoon lesson because of a rapidly beating hard which only seemed to get quicker and quicker with every minute that passed.  
She knew what was coming for her after the knelling of the final bell that for most others was a cheerful cue that time for freedom and rest had come. She knew almost word for word what the call that would come from her cheap cellphone would contain. She had heard the words time and time again and this very certainly wouldn't be the last time it sounded like a broken record.

So there was no surprise and no shock for Barbara when sure enough, mere minutes after she had walked out of her classroom yawning that the phone she always kept in her zipped coat pocket began to sound.  
Unable to think of much else to say in her fatigued state, Barbara simply responded with "Yes, Okay fine." to every question she was asked after hearing the words "Joker", "Arkham" and "escaped" over the somewhat garbled and static filled words she heard as a result of poor signal in this part of the city.

She looked up to see her "partner" Dick looking at her with sympathetic eyes as he tucked his own phone away into his trouser pocket.

"Oh no" he sighed, clearly feeling as sorry for himself as he was with his female friend at this present moment where it seemed today might have any chance of being even the slightest bit brighter than the miserable one before it and that once again neither of them would get a full night's sleep.

"Here we go again." was the almost autonomous and emotionless reply.

 _ **Thank you so much for reading and please do comment if you like this story or think anything could have gone better.**_


End file.
